DIY Coaching Kit

At the Women in Product Conference 2020, I spoke about the coaching tool that changed my career. It changed how I managed people, how I saw myself, and sparked a flame that grew and grew…until one day I dropped the product stuff (mostly), got over my ickiness with the term “coach,” and started professionally doing it full time.

It was overwhelming (in the best of ways) to hear people’s responses to the talk and their desire to learn more. To those of you that reached out - thank you and happy practicing! If you did not attend, and are interested in a future workshop on the topic - contact me.

This DIY Coaching kit includes:

1. Coaching frameworks

2. Practice scenarios

3. Some of my favorite questions

With some practice, coaching can make you a better manager, leader, colleague, friend, partner or family member. Use this kit to help people process, realize what they want, and take action. Ready to awaken your inner coach?

Instructions

For each of the scenarios below:

1. Practice “split-track and playback” to pull apart the different issues.

2. Choose a track to focus on.

3. Use the SOON (or GROW)* model, asking questions that help clarify the current situation, obstacles, options, and desired outcome. 

4. Continue to playback responses to deepen, understanding and awareness.

5. Remember to avoid adding your own judgement and language.

>> Practice with a partner for best results. 

>> Always ask for permission before coaching someone or providing feedback.

*SOON, Split-track and Playback was coined by LifeLabs Learning. GROW was created by John Whitmore.

Questions, Questions, Questions

At the heart of good coaching is curiosity. Use these phrases and questions to spark yours!

OBSERVATION

Here are some phrases I use to split-track and playback. Sometimes, you don’t need a question to learn more, a pause can be just as powerful. The coachee might clarify what was said, realize what they are actually trying to say, or point out which part is at the core.

• I’m hearing [X, Y, Z].

• It sounds like a few things are going on [X, Y, Z].

• What I’m feeling from you is [things you are picking up from body language, tone, speed, etc.].

• I noticed [expression/tone/body language].

CLARIFY & EXPLORE

To learn more, combine observation with questions like:

• What else?

• Can you tell me more about that?

• What’s coming up?

• What are you feeling?

• What does [ex. “good,” “bad,” “grow,” “right,” “better,” “progress,” “stuck”] mean?

FOCUS

Continue to unearth, clarify + playback, and then choose a focus:

• What resonates the most?

• Which of these is most important?

• What’s the main problem / crux of the situation?

• What do you want to focus on today?

SUCCESS & GOALS

• What does success look like?

• What’s your ideal outcome?

• What do you want to get out of this?

• How will you know you were successful?

• Once you achieve that, then what will happen?

OPTIONS

• What options (possibilities) do you see?  What else?

• If your future self was looking back on this situation, how would they guide you?

• Have you navigated a similar situation in the past? What did you do?

• Is there anyone you could talk to about this?

• If there were no constraints, what would you do?

• Can you come up with any alternatives?

• Can I share my ideas?

EVALUATION

• How would you rank these options in terms of importance? [ALT Ease? Fun? Fulfillment? Satisfaction?]

• What resources/support do you need? What resources are available to you right now?

• If you had to take action, what would you do?

• What would happen if you do / don’t?

OBSTACLES

• What might get in the way of you reaching your goal? 

• What internal resistance (behaviors/beliefs) might comes up?

• What could go wrong?

• What concerns you the most?

NEXT STEPS & COMMITMENT

• What option do you want to move forward with?

• What are the next steps?

• What are you committing to by when?

• How committed are you to doing this (1-10)? What would make it a 10.